The benefit of experience

One of the great things about a second baby is that I've been here before. This time around I know stuff that I didn't know before. With the first one, at this point in my pregnancy I was just excited to meet the baby. (Actually, at this point in the pregnancy I had already had my baby since he was 2.5 weeks early). I didn't know that I was about to embark on a multitude of sleepless nights. Well, I mean, everyone tells you that but you really have no IDEA how physically tired you will be until you are there. I didn't know that I would feel so emotional about every little thing or be so worried about doing everything "right". Did he eat enough? Is it normal to nurse this long? Am I overfeeding him? Should he be spitting up like that? Should he go through this many diapers? Why doesn't he nap? Why is he crying? Should we call someone?

This time around I have the benefit of experience. I know that nursing is hard and it might suck (no pun intended). I also know that if I can't make a go of it, I am not going to let myself feel like the worst mother ever and that formula is not the devil's nectar. I know that there will be a lot of sleepless nights and that I will want to pull my hair out and there will be times that I feel like I can barely function. But, I also know that those nights pass and sleep does eventually happen. I know that sometime randomly my child will decide that naps are for sissies and that nothing I do is the right way to soothe her. But I know that she will eventually tucker out and allow herself to be calmed and cuddled. 

Best of all, I know what it feels like to hold that new little person in my arms. To smell their hair and feel that warm soft weight on my chest. To hear the little sighs when they sleep and watch them discover the world one tiny piece at a time. "Look! I have hands! They are attached to my body! I can make them move!" So yeah, this time around - I am just excited to meet the baby.