Yesterday, I fed him his lunch and then began the considerable process to get him ready for his nap. First we did the Tylenol for his throat. Then came the Benadryl for congestion. Finally, some Vicks Vaporub on his chest. And of course, the requisite diaper change. I put on some music and grabbed his Mickey Mouse so we could settle in to the chair for my favorite part of the day - our rocking time.
My butt had no sooner hit the seat when he started squeaking at me and gesturing behind him. "Shhh." I patted and tried to soothe. He continued to struggle against me, trying to sit up and point. Initially, I tried to ignore him and kept re-situating him on my chest but he continued to wiggle. Eventually it began to feel like holding a sack of puppies and finally I asked "Are you ready to go to the crib?" "Mmm-Hmm!" he answered emphatically. So, I placed him in the crib and tucked him in. He immediately snuggled up to his Mickey and closed his eyes.
I was fighting not to cry as I closed the door to his room. How could he not want to be rocked anymore? Is he suddenly too big for cuddling with his mom? He's not even two! Last night, my husband informed me that he had the exact same experience at bed time. I became tearful when he explained that it was likely that he was just growing out of needing to be held before bed. The Husband quickly backtracked and said "Or it could just be that he is sick and really tired. I am sure he will get back to wanting a snuggle once he feels better." But, I don't believe him.
I am starting to think we are past the baby stage and moving full force into Toddlerdom. There are so many milestones that I am looking forward to and simultaneously dreading like potty training, a big boy bed, the first day of preschool. But, this was one that caught me off guard. I had no idea that one day the Tot would just wake up and decide he could sleep on his own. I know, most moms out there are shaking their heads and saying "count your blessings" and I guess they are right. It could be the other extreme where I couldn't get him to nap or sleep at night without us. I know moms who still rock their babies all the way to sleep and sometimes spend up to an hour doing so. I just wish I had a little more time to enjoy the nighttime cuddles.
This is how moms end up deciding to have another baby, isn't it?