I was excited to have a girl for about an hour. That was about how long it took me to go to Target and buy some cute baby outfits. By the time I got home, panic was starting to seep in. Girls are different than boys. Suddenly it occurred to me that I have no clue what to do with a little girl.
I know nothing about girls. I am sure you are thinking "Hello? You ARE one!" and I am, but I am not a girly girl by any stretch. I was raised by my dad. I don't know a lot about make-up, I can't french braid, and the main feature I look for in clothes is something that covers my nakedness and washes well.
A perfect example - I was browsing gymboree buying baby clothes and trying to decide between tiny dresses when it suddenly dawned on me that she'd have nothing on underneath. Maybe not a huge deal in June but kind of a no-no for a brand new person in October. I couldn't think what she would wear under her dresses and then I remembered...tights. Ugh! I hated tights! Those itchy scratchy things you had to wear under your dresses. I struggled sometimes to wiggle Ben into pants. I can't imagine trying to squeeze a squirmy infant into those snug things. I have a feeling my girl isn't going to be wearing a ton of dresses!
I keep having to remind myself that I knew nothing about boys before the tot got here and even now he still surprises me with what he knows, what he likes, what he can do. I know that it will be the same with a girl on many levels. I worry about all that she will go through. The extra pressure placed on girls appearances, body image, the "mean girl" drama, the self-esteem struggles. As soon as I start thinking of it, I feel overwhelmed and under qualified.
When we found out we were having another baby, I was over confident because I had "done it all" before. And there is a part of me that feels calmer about the new baby stuff because I know that eventually she'll sleep, eventually she'll be a champion nurser, eventually she will be able to sit up, stand up, and walk. All of these milestones will be reached and passed. Because many of them are developmental and as humans, we instinctively grow and progress. It's the other milestones, the tougher battles that worry me. Those are the hurdles that keep me tossing and turning at night. Those are the ones that will weigh on my mind and stay in my prayers for the next 18 years.