Swimming lessons: Lunesta for babies

It's our second week of swim lessons. Our instructor is fabulous and has already taught us all kinds of cool stuff like how to get in and out of the pooh correctly and how to blow bubbles. Unfortunately, she is also a big believer in kids going underwater. The tot, however, is not a big believer in this concept. and clings to my neck and swim suit straps like a spider monkey. Right about now is when I would start frantically googling "swimming for babies" and "toddlers fear of the water" and emailing all of my mom friends to see if it's normal for a kid to be so opposed to swimming lessons and going underwater. But, I am not. I have decided instead to just let it ride and see how it goes over the next couple of weeks.

Another benefit to swim lessons - the tot eats a great lunch when we get home and sleeps like a champ. I barely rocked him before he was asleep in my arms. Yes, you read that right - asleep in my arms. I had almost forgotten how great it is to have a baby sleeping in my lap. So, of course, I had to hold him a little longer to savor the moment. The warm weight on my chest, the sound of his deep breathing, the smell of his soft baby hair.  It was heaven.

I am thinking of making swimming a daily activity.

Magic Cheerio Dust

Mealtimes have continued to be a stressor in our household. I continue to struggle to serve the tot something other than steamed sweet potatoes or bananas. I recently purchased a book, First Meals by Annabel Karmel. I had tried some of her recipes in her purees cookbook and they had mostly been a big hit with my little foodie.

The first recipe I decided to try was a pasta recipe with cheese sauce and bits of ham and peas. It wasn't extremely complicated to make but it did take a little bit of time to make the sauce and cook the pasta. It smelled great and I even tried a bite before I served it. It tasted great, so I was hopeful. I am sure you can guess what happened. He wouldn't even try it! It sat on his tray for most of dinner and he would turn his head and purse his lips anytime either Husband or I tried to offer a morsel. Finally towards the end of dinner he tried some pasta. Well, let me be clear. He put some pasta in his mouth, chewed it up and spit it out. Did I mention that it was the cute mini bowtie pasta? I have no idea what he found so offensive about the tiny, cute, cheesy bowties.

I was somewhat discouraged by his lack of interest but we had a lot leftover (probably because it didn't get eaten at ALL the first time. Grrrr.) so I decided to offer it again today at lunch. This time I tried to give him just the pasta first and leave everything else on the counter reasoning that if he had nothing else to pick from, maybe he would at least try it. And...he ate a pea. One measly pea. Then he began fussing and gesturing in the general direction of the kitchen in a "WOMAN! FEED ME SOMETHING ELSE!" type fashion. So I got the requisite sweet potato chunks and some banana and strawberry slices. Of course, everything else went over like gang busters and the pasta sat there ignored. All of the sudden, I remembered this trick we used to use when the tot was much smaller to get him to try new foods that he didn't like the texture of. I swear, if I had looked up above my head right at that moment, there was probably a cartoon light bulb dangling there.

When the tot was first eating solid food and was presented with a "wet" fruit or vegetable like banana or strawberry, we would sprinkle crushed Cheerios over the top to give it a better texture and something he could grasp more easily. So, I went and got Cheerios which I crushed and then sprinkled over the cheese (now cold) pasta and held my breath waiting. The tot regarded the "new" pasta with the Cheerio crumb topping. And all of the sudden, he grabbed a bow tie in his chubby fingers and popped it in his mouth! Then, miracle of miracles, he chewed it and swallowed it! Success! He followed that bowtie with six or seven others and I could hardly stand my excitement! I feel certain that the whole portion of pasta may have been consumed had it not been for the enormous amount of banana, strawberry and potato already in his tummy. I am now debating whether to share my secret with Husband or just let him be impressed by my sudden feeding skills.

Code Brown

It happened. I knew it would happen sooner or later. I had been expecting it, but because it had not happened yet, I allowed myself to be lulled into a false sense of security. I was a fool.

Tonight was the Husband's night to bathe and bed the tot. But he was busy cleaning up dinner and we were running behind as usual. So, being the great wife that I am, I offered to do the bath. (I am a giver, I tell you!) I got the bath started and the tot undressed and submerged in record time and was feeling pretty proud of my accomplishment. I had just finished washing him and was giving him a little extra time to play in the tub. So there we were, just he and I, enjoying our time. All of the sudden, I noticed these funny bubbles coming from the water. From his..uhhh... caboose area. And then, I just knew. I just knew what was about to happen but I couldn't move. I was frozen in a combination of horror and disbelief as two little brown pebbles floated to the surface. I know I made an audible gasp which was received from the tot with a worried frown. I tried to be reassuring but had a primary focus of getting my newly clean toddler out of what had just become a defiled bathtub. With what I am sure were cat-like reflexes, I quickly snatched the tot up out of the tub and rushed him to his room before he had any chance to come in to contact with the offending floaters.

Never have I been so glad to be a co-parent as when my husband came in as I was changing the tot and I told him that he needed to empty the bathtub. He was concerned and all I could say was "We have a Code Brown."

Fake it until you make it

Things are better. I have started getting this whole credit thing resolved and am in the process of obtaining documentation from the doctor's office that the collections account is not mine (hooray!). The lady I spoke with there was very nice and very apologetic when she realized that it was likely an error on their part. You know, assuming I didn't fly 1200 miles to go to the doctor a few years back and all. So, I will be getting refunded for my collection payment and (fingers crossed) getting the black mark removed from my credit report. I realize it doesn't change the fact that I still may not qualify for a credit card due to a lack of employment, but I am continuing to investigate my options and if that ends up being the case? Well, I guess I will jump off that bridge when I get to it.

In the meanwhile, we have started swim lessons. The tot is loving them mostly and learning so much. In all honesty, this is his second time with swim lessons but our last instructor wasn't very, um, instructional. So this time he has already learned to get in and out of the pool and to push off from the wall. We are working on learning to go underwater but so far, he is not a fan. I am sort of dumbfounded by his reaction given that when we go to the local pool or even the baby pool at the gym, he waddles around happy as a clam, and face-plants repeatedly in the water. The first couple of times this happened, I grabbed him in a panic and pulled him out coughing and sputtering. He was very upset and I thought he was traumatized, but then realized that he was upset because he wanted me to put him down so he could go back to his wading/falling. I have since tried to have a non-reaction (how does one do that when their baby is laying face down in a pool?) and just stand him back up. In reverse, when he goes underwater in swim class, I try to put on my biggest happy face, cheer and clap so that he knows I am proud of him even though he is coughing and fussing and clearly NOT enjoying himself. Fake it 'till you make it, right?

The worst...

I am a stay at home mom, for those who don't know. It wasn't a decision that I reached easily. There was a lot of anxiety and sleepless nights wondering if I was making the right decision. The biggest hurdle for me wasn't staying home with a brand new baby (that came later) but it was the fear of being completely dependent on my husband for our welfare. It was panic-inducing to think about going down to one income and that income being all his. Don't get me wrong, my husband makes a decent income and we could easily afford for me to stay home. I know that I am blessed to have that opportunity. I know plenty of moms who are not so lucky that have to work at least part-time if not full time and don't get nearly as much time with the kids as they'd like. Still, it gave me butterflies whenever I thought about not being self-reliant. It had been drilled in my head as a young girl - "Go to college. Get a good job. Never have to depend on anyone but yourself." So, I definitely felt some trepidation at letting my husband "take the reins" so to speak. But, as time went on, I stopped thinking as much about his working and my staying home and started thinking of it as both of us working. Only my job was more emotionally taxing and (in my mind) more stressful.

Then, two weeks ago, I decided to apply for a credit card. We had paid all of ours off some time ago through credit consolidation and had both agreed it would still be good to have one for emergencies. Not to mention that I wanted to be able to buy stuff for birthdays/Father's days/anniversaries and not have the charge show up in our checking account and ruin the surprise. So, I filled out an application, cringing only slightly when they asked for my occupation and I had to put "homemaker" because at least they also asked for my mortgage payment amount and annual household income. So, I wasn't that worried about it. But then - I was denied. Denied! Rejected! You guys, I have never, never, never, been denied credit before. For anything! I had like 5 credit cards in college (hence the reason for the credit consolidation)!

And there it was - all my doubt and anxiety about not being a working woman. All my fear about being dependent on my husband. I was so embarrassed and disappointed. But more than that, I was panicked. What if something happens to my husband? I won't be able to get a credit card. Or a home loan. Or a car loan. In fact, our current car loan is in his name as is our home when we refinanced due to some nonsense about his debt to income ratio giving us a better rate than our debt to income ratio combined (which probably doesn't help my credit AT ALL).

So, in the midst of all of this worry and irrational thinking, I pull my credit report and find that I have a negative mark on there because I was sent to collections for a medical bill back in 2006. From the last state we lived in. Where I haven't lived for more than 5 years. So I assumed it was just a case of delayed billing and them not being able to track me at my new address (which is crazy, since we left a forwarding address) but whatever. I contacted the clinic, got the info for the collections agency and promptly paid the past due balance. I felt horribly guilty that they might have thought I was trying to skip out on the bill and wanted to be expedient. So the collections agency very politely sent me a copy of my receipt along with a copy of the invoice from the doctor's office. That's when I see the service date was May 2006. MAY. 18 months after I had moved! I started to think that seemed like a VERY long time for them to delay billing. There was also a note on the invoice that I did not have insurance at the time of service. Wait, what? I have never not had medical insurance. So, now I am really suspicious. So I call the medical clinic and speak to the billing office. The woman I speak with says "Oh!" in a   oh-shit-we-screwed-up kind of way and puts me through to the voice mail of the office manager explaining that I will need to talk to her to clear this up. Somehow, I doubt that I will be at the top of her To Do list so I wait a few hours and call back. I explain the situation and she is very apologetic and also puzzled. After checking a few details with me, it is very obvious to me that I was not the recipient of service. But, how do you prove to someone four years later that the person who saw the doctor that day wasn't you? She agrees to look in to it further and get back to me today or tomorrow.

I then contact the collection agency and explain the situation hoping to get my charges reversed. This lady is much less...um... shall we say helpful? She refuses to help me saying that she needs to talk with the medical clinic and confirm that this is, in fact, an error. I am somewhat embarrassed to say that the conversation slowly deteriorated from there and may or may not have ended with me hanging up on her rude self. I also contacted the credit reporting agency to try to rectify this matter but, of course, will need to wait a momentous amount of time to see if their investigation actually resolves anything.

Meanwhile, I sit here ruminating about my poor credit. Wondering if I am denied the privilege of being a Visa or American Express holder because of one error on my credit report? Or because the car loan and the home loan are now both in The Husband's name? Or, is it like he says, that I am currently not working and therefore have no income to offset any potential debt? In which case, is getting a job the only way I can resolve this issue of bad credit? Does it really come down to a choice between being a self sufficient working mom with limited time to spend with the tot or a completely dependent Betty Draper-esqe housewife with no resources of my own who actually gets to watch my son grow up? If anyone knows the answer, I would love to hear it!

Best Laid Plans

This weekend we traveled north for a family gathering. The Husband and I thought we were pretty swift because the gathering was scheduled for early afternoon so we planned to give our tot his lunch prior to departure and let him take his afternoon nap in the car. It's about a 2.5 hour drive so assuming he fell asleep quickly, he would still get roughly his full nap. We also packed his jammies and an overnight diaper so that we could get him ready for bed before we returned home and then just carry him in the house and put him in the crib. Ha. Ha. Ha. HA!

Admittedly, he did fall asleep both on the way there and on the way home. For about 20 minutes.

Yes, those are Star Wars jammies. Shut up.

But, no matter how quiet we were or how many soft soothing songs we tried, most of the ride was like this:

Today, however, I drove home from the store listening to "Sweet Child Of Mine" (Sometimes I get nostalgic.  Go ahead and mock.) and in the ten minutes it took to get home - he was out like a light. Next time I will be making a playlist of 80's Hair Bands. Not that I own music like that. Shut Up.

Quick Takes Friday

1) The tot is sick with a mysterious illness. He has no symptoms other than some lethargy and a high fever last night. He seems better this morning but is still a bit sluggish. These are the days I wish he had the power of speech. I am trying to get him to rest by bribing him with Mickey Mouse Clubhouse (which really is a double bonus - he gets to watch tv and I get to blog in peace).

2) I expected this summer to be peaceful. I think I actually said to the husband "I can't wait until everyone is on break from everything and we have nothing to do!" Except that hasn't actually happened. We go to the gym every day and the chiropractor and the store and everywhere else in town. And now we are signed up two days a week for summer swim lessons. So actually a big "NO" on the downtime and relaxation. However, because of the aforementioned mystery illness, today we are inside doing nothing. It bothers me to be house bound but it is also kind of nice to still be sitting here at 8:45 in the morning in my pajamas. This weekend was also packed full of visits, errands and the like. But now it may be full of time spent indoors caring for our quarantined tot. I am already brainstorming ways to entertain us (which, given that most of our daily activities are self-inflicted, makes me think that I must actually enjoy having lots to do every day).

3) This week I have read two new books. Both were excellent but very sorrowful. I read Anna Quindlen's "Every Last One" and "If I Stay" by Gayle Forman. Anna Quindlen is one of my favorite authors and I have read most everything she has written. I enjoyed both immensely but am not so sure that it was a great idea to read two books about loss back to back as it left me feeling very melancholy and introspective. I have now started Steig Larson's "The Girl Who Played With Fire" which I doubt will have the same effect.

3) I have the worst habit of buying more books than I even have time to read. I think I enjoy the process of shopping for books as much as if not more than reading them. I thought that this would change some with the kindle as there is no going to the bookstore and flipping the pages which is part of what I love (I still do it, I just end up downloading the titles rather than purchasing them) but it turns out that browsing Amazon is just as addictive because you are able to download samples of the books. And being able to have the book in hand without having to leave the couch only makes it worse! I'm trying to control my urge and not let myself buy more than two books at a time and not purchase more until those two are read. However, willpower and I are not friends, so I am doubtful of this strategy.

4) I am enjoying a summer with little to no tv. I had hoped to start this big experiment of not watching tv at all this summer, but realized my spouse would probably start sneaking off to hotels to watch the tube. So rather than making it a hard and fast rule, most nights when there is nothing on the DVR, we play games or do other "non-television" related stuff. It's been fun so far. My long term goal is to cut back on our tv watching overall, but we'll see how it goes given that I am missing "The Good Wife" and "Grey's" already and he has already started perusing the network websites to see what new stuff starts in the Fall.

5) I think part of my desire to cut back on our television habit stems from the fear that we are setting a bad example for our tot who may be turning in to a tiny couch potato. Or maybe a tater tot. Sorry, too good to pass up. Anyhow - he doesn't get to watch a lot of the tube unless we are getting ready to go somewhere and he needs to be distracted. Bu,t what used to be background noise while he played in his Pack n Play is now his primary focus. More days than not, when I get out of the shower, he is laying on his bear staring up at the screen transfixed. All of those parenting articles and research studies start repeating in my head and I envision myself in a doctor's office five years from now discussing his learning disability/attention issues/obesity etc. Yes, yes, I am sure that it probably doesn't happen exactly that way and the husband always says something nerdy like "Correlation doesn't prove causation" when I bring it up, but it doesn't stop me from worrying about it (much like everything else parent related). And yes, I have Googled this (of course) and the results were mixed. It seems like a lot of doctor types say "NO TV. Not before age 2 and even then only in small doses." But a lot of parent types say "Are you kidding me? If I don't turn the television on once in a while, I will end up in a padded cell!"

6) Because the tot is sick, I am bending the rules and pretending not to notice that he is drinking his sippy cup of milk in the living room. Does this make me a sucker?

7) I am so glad it's finally summer. We have been outside almost every day. The grandparents have gone to great lengths to turn the backyard in to a toddler fun land so now we have slides, a water table, a sand box, and a baby pool. The tot is both joyous and overwhelmed. I am glad he likes the pool but am quickly tiring of the swim diapers/swim trunks/hat/sunscreen routine that takes 20 minutes in order to venture out in to the yard for him to only play for 45 minutes and then come back in for the rinse off/change diaper/change clothes routine. I swear I am spending as much time getting him ready to go out and cleaned off when he comes back in as he actually spends out in the yard. Oh well - at least we are all still getting fresh air and sunshine and that's far better than the icky cold of the last six months!

Happy Friday, Everyone! Read more quick takes here.