Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Not even a sometimes single mom...

This morning my husband and I got up at the same time after a very restless night with several disruptions from the tiny insomniac down the hall. I went to get the baby and change the diaper while he trudged downstairs. The day was gray, it was chilly, the tot was fussy and I was in a mood. When I got to the kitchen, I found that my husband had unloaded the dishwasher, poured my coffee and started preparing breakfast for the little guy. It was completely unexpected and indescribably appreciated.

Just a little bit ago, I had started writing this whole post about how it was to be a stay at home mom. How it gets so tiring during the day and all I want to do is hand my son off to his dad the minute he walks in the door so I can have five minutes to myself. And how now I can't because my husband is still recovering from surgery and so I need to continue in my role as primary care giver all the way until my tot's bedtime. But, as I was writing and reading back to myself, I became really annoyed with my own blather.  Mostly because I am writing this in a very quiet house during nap time after I have just had a quiet lunch and watched last night's "Nurse Jackie" uninterrupted. I know there are probably a lot of single and sometimes single moms out there who would probably want to punch me in the face after just reading that. Deservedly so. Admittedly, there are times that I feel like I am running in different directions trying to get the house in order, pay attention to the tot and also (on a rare occasion) take care of myself. But the reality is that I am just a big whiner. Other moms have it so much harder than I do.

A few months ago, I read this great article on cafemom about being a sometimes single mom  and I could feel myself nodding in agreement. There are plenty of days I feel like handing Ben off to my spouse like a relay baton and running for some peace and quiet. But I have one child. My husband isn't in the military, he doesn't travel much for work, and if he's not home by five it's typically cause for a missing persons report. Yes, it sucks that he can't help me right now and it sucks that I don't get my regularly scheduled decompressing time, but it's temporary. And it's not that bad. It's not that tough. A lot of moms are doing all of this stuff on their own some of or all of the time. Not just for six weeks. Not just from 7 until 5. So I will shut up now and count my blessings instead.

I am blessed that my son sleeps through the night (depending on your definition) and takes at least one decent nap every day (for now at least), I am blessed that my husband has a flexible work schedule so he can come home if I need him to, I am blessed that we have some time together after our son is in bed to whine laugh about our day to each other, I am blessed that I have time more days than not to get up and go to the gym, I am blessed that even though my husband cannot pick up our son (and it has been hard on all of us but probably on "the huz" the most) he still finds plenty of other ways to help me manage the heavy lifting. Yes, I am blessed.

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