Sunday, June 27, 2010


It's almost 1:30 in the afternoon. Everyone in the house is asleep except for me. Even the cats are napping. But for no good reason, I toss and I turn and I just can't seem to catch that drowsy, relaxed feeling that precedes sleep. I have tried laying on my back, on my side, on my tummy. I have tried deep breathing, I have tried to think of nonsense words or daydream about happy things. Nothing. Not a single Z. Meanwhile, the Husband is next to me snoring away.

I am sure you are thinking, "Well, maybe you are just not tired. Not everyone can nap in the afternoon." and you would be right except for one thing. I am really tired. I am so tired I couldn't wait to push my mom out the door this afternoon so all of our house could get some much needed rest. I slept for all of five hours last night. Five. And, no, it wasn't the Tot keeping me awake. It was nothing. Not a darn thing. I went to bed late and was exhausted after a celebratory evening at a friends wedding. I couldn't wait to get my makeup off and let my head hit the pillow and then...nothing. I laid awake for over an hour tossing and turning. Because Grandma kept the Tot, she also agreed to keep the baby monitor and let us sleep in this morning. Oh Joy! I expected that because it took so long for me to fall asleep last night, I would sleep much longer in the morning. I expected to not be conscious much before 8. But, at 7am, I was wide awake. I tried to go back to sleep, really, I did. I kept thinking of all that I had to do today and how much nicer happier I'd be if I was well rested. But then the "Mom" piece of my brain kicked in and I started wondering if the Tot had his breakfast, if he was missing me as much as I was missing him, if he was being good for Grandma. And I couldn't shut it off, so that was it for me.

But this afternoon? Everyone is sleeping. The house is quiet. There is nothing for me to feel anxious about or be worrying about. So why can't I sleep? What is keeping me from catching those z's? I haven't a clue. My only guess is that I have crossed the threshold from being tired to being "overtired". You know, like they write about in all of the "How to get your baby to sleep" books? So, maybe I just need someone to put my butt in the car/stroller and drive me around town for awhile? Or how about snuggling me in their lap and rocking me to some soft music in a dark room? Any takers? No? I guess I will have to settle for some warm milk, a hot bath and an early bedtime instead. Wish me luck.

No comments:

Post a Comment