Friday, February 25, 2011

I love taking a test I can pass...

A couple of weeks ago, I posted a whiny entry about fertility treatments and how unfair my life was. I don't know if anyone read it, but if you did, I apologize for my pity party. I was still despondent the day after I posted my woes. I took a pregnancy test anyway because I wanted to confirm what my body had already told me so I could feel crappy and then move on. I am not sure that makes any sense but in my head it did at the time.

So I got out of bed bright and early with a full bladder and peed on the stick like a good little patient. To add insult to my injury - nothing happened! No hourglass in the little window. No "Not pregnant". No lines or plus signs. Nothing! The darn test was busted! Now, in the companies defense, I did have a vague memory of buying the box of pregnancy tests as part of a order and that it may have been delivered when the temperatures were less than balmy. Perhaps even snowing. A lot. In any case, I called the company but their help desk wasn't yet open. Ben was waking up so I shoved the package in a drawer and went about the business of getting our day started.

Later that morning, while waiting for my shower to heat up, I finally got around to calling the company. The lady was super nice and offered to send me a new test. (I don't know if you know but when you are going through fertility treatments, you use a lot of pregnancy tests!) She also explained that the error with the test was likely the result of a dead battery and wouldn't affect the other tests in the box. So, I went ahead and peed on another stick. This time the hour glass appeared.  And then this:

I debated posting about this on the World Wide Web (does anyone still call it that?) because of my own silly superstitions and also the whole "anonymous blog but what if I get discovered" anxiety. We haven't told our family or friends yet except for one or two very close, trustworthy folks. However, I use this blog to post about all things mom-related in our day to day life. Editing out this little surprise was making it hard to find topics to post about so I have decided to through caution to the wind, knock on wood, cross my fingers, and pray that I am not about to set a big ol' jinx on myself. 

We are beyond excited to become a family of four and my head is swimming with all of the things that need to happen between now and the time the stork gets here. We plan to tell our families in a few weeks at Ben's birthday. I am excited but also have mixed feelings - a little anxiety because it's still earlier than I would normally want to tell people and also a little guilt because it's Ben's party and I don't want to steal the focus from him. But because we live far away from our families, this is a rare occasion where we can tell everyone in person. I hope it won't be too traumatic for him. And if it is, he can always process it in therapy in twenty years.